Tomorrow, (Thursday August 28th 2013), David Cameron and his funny little bald friend will present to the House Of Commons the reasons why the British government want to attack Syria. In a memo, leaked by a backbench Tory MP with a small majority, Cameron and Hague bullet point the case for war. Said bullet points are reproduced below.
- The catastrophic failure of Osborne's economic plan is becoming increasingly difficult to hide underneath false statistics, so we need a better distraction.
- Arms manufacturers, major donors to the Conservative Party, are demanding a massive handout of tax-payer funding.
- Our good friends and donors in Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Bahrain are worried that a peaceful solution to conflict in Syria may encourage people to seek emancipation in those countries.
- Lynton Crosby said so.
- Israel, a persistent donor to individual Conservative MPs via sock puppets, wants an enhanced escalation of conflict in Syria in order to confuse its enemies and to help Israel's arms industry.
- We have to show we have bigger dicks than France.